5 Ways to Be Someone’s Priority NOT Their Option

 How To Be Someone’s Priority — -NOT Their Option

People will clearly indicate to you what your place is in their life — from their communication with you, to your first date, to their first move, and to how they treat you thereafter. Perhaps they pursued you in the beginning of the relationship, but now, their interest and communication has dropped off significantly and you’re doing all the work. You have become their option, not their priority.

It can be painful to admit that you are allowing yourself to be treated as an option by someone else. But, the sooner you acknowledge that you are not their priority, the faster you can take your power back from them.

**Knowing the love language of the man or of the woman with whom you are in a relationship is different than being someone’s option, not their priority.**

Signs That You Are Just an Option:

(this is by no means a complete list)

1.You are rarely their “plus one.”

2. They often “hit you up” at the last minute.

3. Plans are always on their terms.

4. They never take you out.

5. They often cancel plans or do not follow through with plans.

6. They forget dates that are important to you, such as your birthday.

7. You do most of the texting and make most of the moves toward them.

8. You make excuses about their behavior to your friends and family.

9. You catch them in little (and big) lies.

10. They are vague about what they are doing.

11. They only show up for physical gratification (think “booty call”), then bail on you.

What You Need To Know

To become someone’s priority means that you have to change. You will not change the other person, or anyone, for that matter, unless you first change. You show people how to treat you through what you accept. Any time you accept any of the above signs that you are just an option, you are allowing your partner to treat you as an option. You know in your gut when you are someone’s option. Trust your gut.

You take back control of the situation by acknowledging that you are allowing yourself to be treated poorly by your partner’s behavior.

https://hackmd.io/@alexaa34/Sk59LW10Wl

https://medium.com/@alexharris59600/5-ways-to-be-someones-priority-not-their-option-c6cab2a3d0b8

I have counseled many clients who successfully turned the tide when they finally realized that the only reason their significant other treated them poorly was because they allowed it to occur. In order to turn the tide like they did, you must possess these four elements:

1. The unshakeable belief that you deserve better.
2. The will to control your need to have that person’s attention at any cost.
3. The discipline to follow through by not accepting anything less than what you want.
4. The deep, inner knowing that you can have better because you deserve better than what you have been accepting.

Ask Yourself These Questions

• Do you believe that you deserve better than the way you are being treated?
• Do you believe that your partner is better than you or is more important than you? If so, why?

If you do not believe either of these things, then why on earth would you allow someone to treat you as an option? Be completely honest with yourself. Before you can address the “how,” you must know “why” you allow someone to treat you as an option. No matter your answer, you want to be treated better, right? Then start acting like it. Choose that now.

Do Not Accept Less

You are not desperate, so stop acting like it. Loneliness is not an excuse. The world is filled with amazing things to take interest in. When you decide that you will not accept being anything but a priority, you will switch up your thinking, and your behavior will follow. You will stop responding immediately to your partner’s messages, calls, or any other request of theirs, because you are sending them a message — you are not as available to them as you once were. You are taking your power back. Trust me — they will notice.

Possess Inner Discipline

You must be sure to have firm control of your reactions, because many partners will try to trigger you emotionally in order to “get their fix.” (your energy, your chasing them, your attention) They need and want to know that you are still available to them at any time. Take that off the table, and keep it off the table, until you notice that you are an important priority to them through their behavior. Always remain kind. Trust me — they’ll notice that, too.

Be Resolute

You cannot be weak. Partners who are used to making you an option can smell your weakness a mile away. You want them to feel your strength and your firm boundary that you are only allowing people to treat you as their priority. So turn it up, and turn it on. And when you flail and want to roll over and give up so that you can have your own emotional “fix,” remember — you are choosing to be the option. Choose, instead, to be the priority, and you will be. Remember that it is a choice.